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Wayback Wednesday – Salt In My Wounds

March 9, 2011

 It’s time to go wayback again, this time to this week four years ago.  This post seemed appropriate because in it I complain of injuries and today though not injured, I am under the weather and not up to writing a full fresh new post just yet.  And, I just love my artwork on the salt cellar so I had to share that again with the world. This was originally posted on Valley Victuals on March 6, 2007.

Dear Alton,

Hey, what’s up? It’s me, your old buddy Jennifer. You remember. We go way back.

AB book signing-3[1]

Burlington, MA back in ’03, right? I swooned over your brownies and you made fun of my vintage digital camera. You called it a Viewmaster. Good times, good times. (Oh, remember you told me it would be really hard to overknead my pizza dough? Well, it’s not that hard.)

As you know, dude, I am a big fan of all your stuff. Love the shows, love the cookbooks. I’m even a fan of your products. I have the plunger, and really, how does anyone make peanut butter cookies without them? I’m also a kosher salt convert, I use it instead of table salt in all my cooking. And your salt cellar is just so darn handy for grabbing a pinch when needed, not to mention so cute in the new colors.

There’s just one thing you should know. That salt cellar may look all sweet and innocent, but it has a darker side.


Alton, your salt cellar is blood-thirsty!

Ten days ago, I noticed that the base of my salt cellar was looking a little crusty. So, I took the glass part out and put the metal part in the sink to wash it. I got it all sudsy and was scrubbing away when – GAAAAAAAH!!! Blinding pain. Gushing blood. Four hours later, I was back from the emergency room with three stitches in my throbbing left pinky.

Upon post-injury examination of the cellar, I can only assume the injury was sustained from collision with the very bottom edge of the base, which is not quite as smooth as it could be.

I am writing today not to ask for my money back or for a replacement, but only to warn you and others. I’d hate for you or one of your staff to do the same thing and possibly hamper production of those new episodes of Good Eats. And of course, all the other customers of your product. (But if you really felt bad about it, a 27-pack of DVDs might make me feel better.)

Your friend,

Jennifer “9-Finger” Adams

9 Comments leave one →
  1. March 9, 2011 12:52 am

    Ohhh ouch ouch, (but most importantly, you didn’t bleed into the food! )
    I’m CERTAIN that a 27 pack of DVD’s IS the only true remedy to give 100% healing for this ailment.. Alton, you know it’s true, really you do.
    Savage salt cellars aside, I agree totally with using freshly ground salt, we use lumps of sea salt here, and we probably use less than we did with the old stuff since the flavour in the same amount seems stronger.

    • Jennifer A (Bread and Putter) permalink*
      March 9, 2011 6:36 pm

      Yes, no food involved in this kitchen accident, thankfully!

      Sea salt is great – I really like it in sweets. A few flakes on top of a cookie, or mixed right in to good dark chocolate!

  2. March 9, 2011 9:30 am

    I have no idea what a salt cellar was but think you should get some sort of compensation for bringing this to the attention of Mr. Brown. Three stitches? Ouch, indeed!

    • Jennifer A (Bread and Putter) permalink*
      March 9, 2011 6:37 pm

      And let me tell ya, novacaine in your pinky really hurts. There’s no flesh there. Ouch! Oh well – the good news is that was a long time ago and my finger is fully recovered. In fact, for some reason once that healed, the tiny little wart I had on that finger disappeared too. Go figure.

  3. March 9, 2011 9:46 am

    Alright, so I had to google “salt cellar.” It really does look harmless…how deceiving! Is that your blood on the salt vampire’s teeth? Shudder.

    • Jennifer A (Bread and Putter) permalink*
      March 9, 2011 6:38 pm

      Yes, it is quite vicious and thirsty for blood. I handle it with a lot of care to this day!

  4. March 12, 2011 9:03 pm

    Jennifer, I have the solution. You need to ditch the glass salt cellar. I swear by my wee bitty Le Creuset stoneware jar that I use for salt. Best $20 I ever spent.

    It looks something like this:

    • Jennifer A (Bread and Putter) permalink*
      March 12, 2011 9:09 pm

      That thing is adorable!! But I am partial to my salt cellar’s flip-top lid.

  5. March 15, 2011 9:32 pm

    Salt cellars aside…I had to have Novocaine in a thumb once; Christmas tree needle and ensuing infection needed to be dealt with and you are so right. That shot? Who knew huh?

    I have a salt cellar but need a second; I am constantly moving it from my prep area to my stove. Lid that stays attached? Sounds good. Hope production has improved since your injury!

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